a curse

: my life to me.

i just hope it is not infectious to other people.

lopsided loops

hey, god!
let me ask you one thing:
is it possible that a person
gets everything s/he wants
and continuously
be the spotlight
when at the same time
another person
gets screwed every single time
and repeatedly
overshadowed?

a girl needs a mother

because friends have their own problems
and fathers or boyfriend hardly listen
at the same time journals cannot respond
while colleagues are just people at work
one has to keep things professional with.

so, even when mother rarely gets the sense;
a girl needs a mother,
for she knows how to make things better.
or at least seem bearable.

end

before we part ways and bid goodbye to each other,

let me sing you the cure's i'll stop the world and melt with you.

but i guess whatever that was,

it is now over.

paradox

he always misses her no matter what she did. it is either love, naivety, or plain stupidity. and she, despite her longing for something better, has since been attached to him as well as could no longer bear the thought of pain he would have to endure if she left him. it is either love, charity, or empathy.

she would never dare to dream that what they have is forever, but he seemed very confident that they are meant for each other in all eternity.

none of them knows for sure what the future holds for both of them, but they have decided to be for each other at least until fate decides otherwise.

semur ayam santen teriyaki

Description:
super gampang. cocok untuk berbuka maupun sahur. bisa dimasak menjelang berbuka dan dipanaskan untuk sahur.

Ingredients:
bahan:
dada ayam dari satu ekor ayam, potong dadu
setengah potong tahu cina usuran 5x15cm, potong dadu
2 buah sayap ayam
2 buah ceker ayam
1 buah tomat, potong bitesize

bumbu
4 siung bawang putih, cincang lembut
1 siung bawang Bombay, rajang halus
2 sendok makan kecap manis
2 sendok makan saos teriyaki
1 sachet santan instan
1 sendok makan minyak goreng untuk menumis

Directions:
panaskan wajan, tuangi minyak goreng, tumis bawang putih dan bawang bombay dengan api kecil hingga layu.

masukkan potongan ayam dan tahu cina, tumis hingga setengah matang. tuangkan kecap manis dan saos teriyaki, tumis hingga kecap dan saos tercampur rata.

tambahkan santan instan, aduk hingga santan tercampur. jika perlu, tambahkan air. didihkan. masukkan potongan tomat.

aduk sesekali hingga semua bahan matang dan tercampur rata. sajikan.

untuk mengimbangi rasa semur yang manis, bisa disajikan dengan salad sayur dengan saus yang asam (kombinasi minyak zaitun dengan perasan lemon dgn sedikit garam-merica atau kombinasi minyak zaitun dengan balsamic vinegar).

squished

jakarta has taken its toll on me.
this time, i am desperately longing to leave.
9 millions people in 740 square kilometre
is definitely a crowd.
am not sure i can take walking from dharmawangsa to blok a or further every evening.
even when i don't really do anything at work.
but, i guess my fate and fortune is not going to change.
at least not anytime soon.

monoluck

oh, god.
please don't say
i don't pursue
my own happiness.
litterally every year,
i spent at least
three times
of my worn out
impatience
to chase
a some kind of happy.
including this year.
i suck it up,
swallow my pride,
ignore the blackhole
of my hollow heart,
and just keep moving.

how else should i
keep moving?

his words (3)

be happy for what you have;
but,
fight for what you don't have.

allah will make a way, where there seems no way.

damned

i have ruined my shot at a chance of better life just because i do not have a good time management and can only speak one foreign language.

i want to explore other options

tapi, bagaimana seseorang tahu bahwa ia tidak sedang menyia-nyiakan hal terbaik yang disediakan tuhan untuknya. jika 'other options' itu tidak setepat dan sebaik semua yang dimilikinya sekarang. but then again, apakah 'hal yang tepat' itu? dan apakah 'hal yang baik' itu? bukankah semuanya hanya perlu penyesuaian saja. nanti juga semua akan menjadi tepat dan baik. and eventually; nyaman.

dan sebenarnya, 'other options' itu apa? tawaran pekerjaan di perusahaan oil and gas yang paling terkenal? tawaran menikah dari a complete stranger? kesempatan tes untuk sebuah posisi yang gajinya lebih tinggi dan masalahnya lebih menantang, tetapi tergagalkan karena one does not master the required language of the company?

entahlah. yang jelas, berada di situasi yang sama hampir selama dua ribu hari, pasti akan menimbulkan kebuntuan.

i am just an inch away of becoming a zombie.

tied

somehow i wonder
if god had locked my fate
upon this job
and that i have to bear
its every inch
of bittersweet consequence
until death parts us.

musim layangan

baru membumbung sebentar, benangku sudah tergilas benang yang lain.

benang gelasan kadang bisa mematikan langkah.

mungkin memang lebih baik diam di rumah.

rambut tidak memerah. kulit pun tetap memucat.

kalah itu perlu. tetapi mungkin cukup sekali waktu. jangan selalu.

tak baik juga hati melulu tertimbun nyeri.

biarlah kurang pergaulan, yang penting jarang menangis.

kendala

ingin minum susu coklat. tapi, kampung tengah su penuh ini.

alasan

ingin mulai. tapi, 3 voucher internet gratis sudah terpakai semua.

by the way's (14)

the new spiderman casts really bug me. peter parker is an awkward poor uncool kid. not a witty hipster. although i am sure the people at marvel would not have guessed that in 2012 the cool kids all want to dress like the nerds. the cynics -that's me- and they refer to them and themselves as hipsters. like joseph gordon levitt. zooey deschanel. michael cera. ellen page. the icons of hipsterdom. they did not realize what they have done to the real uncool kids. yep. characters assasination. now. i know grown-ups are not supposed to put people in boxes. and i never classify myself as indie or mainstream because frankly i love both worlds. and although i am sad to see these superficial uncool kids roaming about becoming the person they are not, i am not going to condemn them. i can just wish that they would consider how the real uncool kids, the poor kids and the ugly kids would feel.

give the less cool and uncool more space. and more chance. because they will not be bill gates or steve wozniaks, if the steve jobs are keep stealing the originalities.

so. i know that tobey is too old for peter parker, but i would not enjoy a trendy peter parker.

qi

right now, you are my only happiness
that i need not share with anybody else
; which i am most grateful for.

by the way's (13)

i know that brave is supposed to be somewhere in scotland, but the castle really looked like the castle of methoni in greece.

perception

he looks at life as a privilege.

they look at life as a right.

i look at life as a curse.

just a thought

they spent three intense days in a conference to talk about democracy. but, frankly, it surprised me, that for somebody who came from a country who recently experienced a revolution did not make a connection between whether or not they need the revolution. or whether it was a fed revolution or a real one. did egypt really need a revolution? was their leader really corrupted? not only financially, but more important than money is ideology. was he? did libya or yemen or syria needs a revolution? or did some other country(ies) need sources to pay their invisible (or a non-admitted) debt. libya for sure was (and hopefully still is) the richest african country, thanks to muammar gadaffi. why would they need a revolution? the most ancient reason for war is economy. if there is nothing wrong in a country's economy, why would it need a revolution? were they forgot that iran and uganda was fed with the same pattern to make them start a revolution and it failed, because apparently, iran and uganda still have a firmer conviction and sovereignty over their countries. or in the believers words, god still protects them.

 

i think the world needs to wake up, that it is true that once some centuries ago european and northern american countries were the world's power source. but, this is a new century, where things are borderless, and everything should therefore inevitable to be equal. so, why not let asian and african countries to be the next best things? we were after all the ones with the more brains and muscles.

 

then i realistically go back to the reality, that the conference was paid by one of the european countries. let them say what they think they know. may god have mercy upon us all.

 

insha allah.