exception

i do not normally like australians or australia. but, i can always make room for something i grew up with. phil collins' songs are among them.

compromised

there is not a problem in this world that alcohol cannot solve.

effort

spare an ear.

free some mind.

save a heart.

the ogreself

i can always relate to bruce banner's or logan's alterego. our lonesome nature is often mistaken as monster. only because we are born with icky colors, scary features and gruesome manners. people stay away to avoid future difficulties. they assume we were not born with brains or hearts. we are after all people's worst nightmare. but really, we are just being us and never planning on bothering thee.

preferrence

i just want to go home. to be with my housemates. the ones i want to be with. them who want to be with me. not here where i rather feel nothing. maybe cooking. or eating. just chitchatting. about everything. from boys and family. from happy to the most annoyings. maybe sleeping. or reading. browsing. enjoying. dvds. books. movies. musics. food. statuses and tweets. anything but going. because being here is getting more and more irritating. i feel like i am more and more close to vanishing.

gleetney

the whitney houston episode on glee is definitely my favorite gleepisode. i can even love the gayest gay it's not right but it's okay by blaine. and kurt response of i have nothing is just awwww. especially to see the green blaine all teary eyed. it is cheesy yes. but cheese is afterall my most favorite thing in this world. and of course, although i was kind of disappointed that they did not do my most favorite whitney song, where do broken hearts go, how will i know is like a wake up call for me. i absolutely love glee's version of it.

 

sundays best

i could not wait until the weekends where we could just listen to augustana taking us to different places through their songs. boston. california. los angeles. the stars. the boulevards. even the wasteland. just me and you. together. without moving our lazy arses.

topeng

susah menahan air mata untuk tetap bersembunyi di kelenjarnya. kadang hidup sedemikian tidak bersahabatnya. tetapi semua orang terlanjur mengenalmu sebagai ia yang senantiasa menertawakan derita dan tersenyum pada luka. jika kau berhenti ceria, semua bahagia di dunia akan sirna.

resort

i never want to be a smoker;

but, i am considering to convert as an alcoholic.

fuck it

i want to give my middle finger from both hands to the world

but the world give a rat ass at me for giving it the finger

softboard

banyak pertanyaan yang pasti ingin kuajukan jika nanti aku bertemu tuhan. misalnya, apa mukaku ini mirip papan informasi? karena, dari nenek-nenek portugis di bandara frankfurt yang akan menuju adelaide pada pukul dua dinihari hingga bapak-bapak berkumis dalam mobil suzuki carry di tengah deras hujan sialan di melawai hari selasa kemarin, sepertinya melihatku seperti melihat petugas tourist information centre.

on duty

i really am not in the mood to go for this wedding back home. but i have bought new shoes that he said pricey but looked nice on my feet. where else would i wear it if not at weddings?

 

i hope am allowed to bring my mobile phone and that there is mobile internet coverage at the venue. or at least all of these instant free messaging thing work well. or i can just shoot myself for being in a place where i only recognize around twenty people max.

 

oh. i am fucked.

jinxed

i guess you are not coming back. it is already may and i have yet spoken to you again. life would be simpler if we never knew each other. and i want no complication in mine. funny how the universe sort of taking care of that for me. now i need to pack. getting rid of these junk i took out from the old dusty boxes when life sort of crossed our paths to one and another. i don't think i will ever need them again. i am tired of keeping that boxes with me all the time, when what is in it have never been used longer than what i would have wanted. unpacking it is an exhausting work. it is like going to europe in winter for just three days. too much fuss for such a short time. like an earthquake drill, it is not a false alarm, just was not real tragedy.

is in

one of those days when one is apt to only snow patrol's songs..

and they give nothing but miserable and lazy mood..

consequent

all that was my effort of being nice to people. but it only take a humiliating public announcement to make me stop.

to me, you are dead. i stop being nice to dead people.

terlangkah

tidak akan pernah ada satu api dan satu air yang sama kuatnya di dalam sebuah bejana. salah satu pasti akan kalah.

 

when it would never be you. it should logically be me.

sugarbuzz

mommie, last night i dreamed of us. you. your bestfriend. and me. i do not know why my brother was nowhere to be seen in the dream. we were having ice cream. do you remember how you used to not let me having chocolate ice cream soda at moncherie because it contained soda. and it was presented in such a too tall glass that a five year old would never finish it. my brother would order it and you would let him. he was seven, and it was chocolate and soda. of course he could finish it. you would order me something like one or two scoops of ice cream with chocolate eggrolls, because you know crispy things distract me more than the ice cream itself. but that was somewhat twentyfour years ago. when you did not have high blood sugar. when you could afford a simple luxury every now and again for us, your two brats. when you could walk proudly in heels so high i did not know you were not even taller than me. when i did not have to meticulously count every single coin i need to spend just to have fun with you or plainly see you because i have to juggle between expenses for the house and unplanned getaway. when i was carefree.

when i was happier.

options

would you rather stay in an illusion of happiness or succumb to the reality that griefs?

since i joined the cult

this is how i feel:

 

best advice today

stove no mistake. nobody person is perfect.

-mbak atin, upon tragedi kompor meleduk-