gerutu (18)

here is what happened to one of my colleagues in india. she is very pretty. and very smart. she is a professional in the human resources department. she knows what she is doing and never afraid to speak her mind. strategically, of course.

 

one day, she was sent for a training at the headquarter. then, when she got back to india, the bigboss in india, told her to resign. everybody who knew this matter, assume that her so called direct supervisor may envy her skills and experience in human resources. he has never been called to the headquarter to attend such training. he was probably offended why they sent her not him.

 

it is not her fault that the organization told her to go. every travel abroad and within any country is under the consent of the bigboss. if she went, then the bigboss must approve. she will not under any circumstances be allowed for travel anywhere, if her travel request is denied.

 

now she is trying to bring this matter to the court. i hope there is still justice in india. i do not have degree in law, but any fool can see that legally she could win this case, given no 'monkey-business' is played under the table.

 

in a smaller and much more related context, i hope my direct supervisor who always speaks highly of him, because they were friends back in sudan, realize that she is not one of the best judges of characters. not badmouthing should never mean you speak falsely of a person. when you do not know well a person, simply say that you know him/her, but not more than just that. or just stay quiet. and that his girlfriend who is our administrator here in jakarta, who often act meangirls to us, national staffs, at the delegation, can make peace with herself, feel better about herself, grow up, start to get herself together and be professional. it is okay to not know everything about anything. no body appreciates a know-it-all. especially those who pretend to know it all.

 

to a further extent, i hope that the short-minded caucasians can start to learn to be more objective and putting things in perspective. i hope they can start to realize that there is no need to feel threatened by the bright minds of asians and africans. i cannot speak on behalf of africans; but, we, asians, most of us at least, have manners and believe in karma. we believe that what we get is what we give in return.

 

no greater good is ever yielded upon the seven sins.

gerutu (17)

saya tahu berpisah dengan pekerjaan dan teman-teman kerja itu sulit. terutama jika seumur hidup bekerja di tempat-tempat dengan bom-bom, tembakan-tembakan berlintasan dan penculikan mengintai setiap saat. serta membuat kami tidak sempat hidup 'normal' menjalin pertemanan maupun percintaan dengan khalayak yang lain. tapi, coba pikir lagi, sebenarnya mereka sedih, karena di akhir pesta perpisahan itu mereka harus pulang ke rumah yang kosong dan menyadari bahwa, mereka akan sendirian hingga mati serta tidak bisa kembali ke kantor keesokan harinya untuk sekedar tertawa dan menghindari tuntutan masyarakat sekitar untuk bahagia. yang konon tolok ukurnya adalah bersuami, beristri, beranak, bercucu, bercicit, berteman. bukan ber-uang, bekerja, berkarir, berkolega. dan bahwa kantor inilah alasan bahwa mereka terlalu sibuk untuk meluangkan waktu untuk berburu sesama manusia demi dijatuhi cinta, dibagi kasih maupun diberi sayang. untuk kemudian bercinta bersama, beranak bersama, bersedih bersama dan berbahagia bersama.

 

sementara bagi kolega-kolega yang ditinggalkan, kami hanya senang karena ada makan-makan gratis dan jam makan siang yang lebih lama untuk hahahihi. siapa peduli mereka akan melakukan apa di kehidupan pasca kantor. berapa dari kami yang masih sempat sms atau e-mail mereka yang sudah tidak bekerja lagi di sini?

 

maka, kadang rasanya miris dengan kantor ini yang terlalu peduli dengan pernak-pernik remeh-temeh melankolis yang berhubungan dengan perpisahan kolega dan justru peduli setan dengan hal-hal yang lebih nyata dan seharusnya kami urus. sebagian orang mungkin menganggap kantor ini sangat kekeluargaan dan blahblihbluh karena selalu menyempatkan diri menghura-hurakan mereka yang kontraknya selesai atau pensiun atau diputuskan hubungan kerjanya.

 

silakan panggil saya bangsat tak berhati, tetapi dulu saya bergabung di kantor ini karena saya pikir kami akan lebih fokus mengentaskan masalah pelik masyarakat rentan di negara-negara kacrut macam negara ini. bukan mengumpulkan prakarya dan scrapbook memorabilia untuk perpisahan seorang kolega. seandainya usaha yang mereka lakukan dan waktu yang mereka luangkan untuk perpisahan sebesar usaha mereka untuk melakukan mandat, visi dan misi kantor ini, saya yakin dunia akan sedikit lebih indah. pekerjaan sayapun akan lebih mudah.

 

and as for farewell, buat saya akan lebih berkesan private lunch/dinner dengan kolega yang paling dekat, daripada dengan seluruh kantor yang pasti pernah saling berujar busuk di belakang punggung. but then again, dengan kolega yang paling dekat, tentu bukan perpisahan, karena, toh, masih akan sering berkirim sms.

gerutu (16)

jika negara-negara penandatangan dan peratifikasi konvensi jenewa yang diwajibkan berkontribusi kepada organisasi kami ini tahu bahwa uang sumbangan negara-negara mereka alih-alih dihamburkan untuk melaksanakan program untuk kemaslahatan masyarakat di negara-negara dan daerah-daerah yang rentan dengan kekerasan; malah digunakan untuk membeli kompor modena seharga tujuh juta per buah dan kami membelinya untuk rumah-rumah tinggal para ekspatriat di organisasi kami di sini hanya karena seorang ekspatriat tidak punya pengetahuan dasar tentang bagaimana menangani kompor dengan baik dan nyaris meledakkan sebuah apartemen, bagaimana perasaan mereka, ya?

 

semua orang memanggul salibnya masing-masing. tetapi kadang, salib yang mereka panggul terbuat dari plastik. atau bahkan angin.

growing (m)old.. like a boss..

or any schools or jobs you want.. and stay a loser as is..

muak

entah kenapa, seiring dengan terlalu lamanya berada di pekerjaan ini, cerita-cerita heroik dari ekspatriat sudah tidak terdengar menakjubkan lagi. terjebak di lumpur setinggi jendela mobil bergardan ganda, beradu pendapat dengan tentara, diculik pemberontak, digeledah polisi atau menyaksikan pengeboman hanya terdengar seperti sebuah bahan untuk menulis gerutu di blog.

 

sudah tidak cinta lagi, atau sudah putus asa, entah lah.

when your plow is pencil

in some countries it would be wise to know what property value more, so you will know what and what not to hit.

 

i was talking nonsense with a colleague about our other colleague who just got an accident and broke his arm after hitting a herd of cows in an empty road to indonesia and papua new guinea border. he hit one of the six cows and the cow is dead. he was going 100 kms/hour with a motorcycle at that time.

 

i felt sorry because i know him a bit too well, but i also could not help not to laugh. mostly because in papua, people say that if you hit a living thing, the owner will ask you for money based on how many udders that being has. so, hitting a human is cheaper than hitting a pig. but hitting a pig is more expensive than any other animals, because it is a valuable property that worth more than, say, a house. and hitting female pig is worse because it is considered as a source of trustfund for its ability to breed piglets. therefore hitting a pig which is pregnant could be the worst, because not only we have to pay for the pig but also for its dead unborn piglets.

 

then an expat colleague joined the conversation. she said that in bosnia, in some particular area, people grow plums to make slivovitsa (plum brandy). then there was this one time when an expat was heading for a meeting in a village where the roads were slippery. at some point, it was so slippery that he could not control the vehicle that he had to choose to either hit a goat or hit a tree. he tried so hard to avoid the goat then finally hit a tree. the owner of the house came out and scolded him for hitting his tree. it was a plum tree with lots of plums on it. the expat tried to explain that he did not want to kill the goat. the owner said he doesn't care about the goat, it took him ten years to grow the plum, and when it was finally grow fruits an expat hit it. the expat had to pay something equal to a hundred euros today. that was a lot of money, considering it was back then in circa 99. but the funniest (or rather unfortunate for the expat) was when he was back to the office, the administrator told him that since it was the expat's mistake to not being able to control the vehicle, he had to fix the car, pay the farmer and not allowed to drive the company's car anymore. all in a day's work.

 

so, yes, cultural briefing is important.

blue skies gone gray

i honestly love the taste of muesli –or birdseeds as my friends refer to– with yoghurt. i never eat it to lose weight or anything like that. i eat anything that makes me comfortable. and muesli with yoghurt always brings me back to that particular time on the plane from frankfurt to geneva on that early winter morning. it comforts me to know that i was on it because somebody believed –even more than i have ever believed in myself–, encouraged, fought for and even assured that i may have some skills for this job. but now she left and i haven't had that much confidence for a while now. and muesli with yoghurt gives me that sense of reassurance if not an illusion of the past memory that things will turn out fine.

 

i guess i am one of those people who are too worried about the future, walked past the present like a ghost, and dwelled too much in the past.

problems of the world #3

isn't there a bit of guilt when you deal more with paying the subscription of cable tv or fussing over a white shirt or family vacation rather than focusing on giving inputs for the presentation? which is more important, the lives of tens of people deprived of their basic rights or you getting two free nights in bali? would you give up your chance of paid holiday for a visit to the field to deal with extremists?

 

yeah. i thought so too.

costaguatamexirico: between the spicy latinas, guerilleros, favellas, and me

there were three latin americans. one was carlos from guatemala. who said i have an american english accent. and thinks that he doesn’t have an accent when speaking english, when he sounded exactly like any CNN reporters. fast. self assured. provocative. and american. i like when he speaks about the marras in el limone. or maybe i just love the topics about gangs. he likes sushi. he often puts facebook status about sushi. i don't understand or speak spanish, but, i can tell it is about sushi when it has the word 'sushi' in it. duh!

 

then there was ricardo from mexico. i don’t know why i remembered ugly betty everytime i saw him. maybe i just love stereotyping. he was this typical latin american aging father in his late 40's to early 50's. he has a deep cracking voice. most likely from too much smoking. and a detective fighting mafia look with his long overcoat and dark suit. maybe it was only the way he was always messy, especially after making phone calls. i guess i watched too many the untouchables or dick tracy. but he is actually a very good listener. ricardo speaks a lot about the drugs cartels in mexico. which i also like. i cannot really explain why but it intrigues me how people would behead several other people just because of drugs.

 

but my favourite was gabriel from argentina. he insisted on everybody to call him gabo. he managed to find away to watch a soccer match in a freezing weather. had i known, i would have joined him. it was argentina versus switzerland. messi was playing! i am not a big fan of messi. but while he was there why wouldn’t you? gabo is a first aid trainer and good at it. but he was my favourite because he likes to cook and love food. he was the only one who really made a pot of fondue while the rest of us just posing while stirring an already cooked pot of fondue. with unwashed hands and all, but cheese already has bacteria and smells like socks anyway, so he was excused.

 

i have never really been that intense in getting to know central americans. the only central americans people i know were columbians, whom two of them were women and looked like drag queens, so my french gay friend said, and the other was a snob doctor i was not really keen on getting to know. wait, i think i know one more. my former bolivian student. whom always looked as if she was having rave party every night. she always seemed to suffer from hangover. she looks like a mixed sandra bullock and julia robert who were always stoned in the morning. but they are a lot like asians, really. they are friendly and warm, cherish their family, and at the same time fiery and passionate and of course have amazing taste buds and eventually outrageously fabulous food.

 

to my level, latin americans should be on the same ground as us asians along with the oceanians and funny africans. the same goes for penguins of the arctic. as for europeans and north americans.. meh! i think they are boring.

 

boy! could i be anymore racist?

gerutu (11)

tentang proyek itu.

 

sejak awal kami semua ragu. oh. mungkin bukan semua, sih. mereka berdua sepertinya merasa yakin. si perempuan mungil berkulit pucat itu. juragan air di thailand. dan dia. si anak orang kaya lulusan eropa. mereka berdua seperti starsky and hutch. hmmm. no. more like harry and loyd. lebih baik menganggap mereka berdua naif, daripada yang lain. bukan begitu? toh, otak-otak jenius mereka terlanjur dipenuhi semilyar teori tentang membantu orang miskin. atau negara terbelakang.

 

tetap saja, aku yang paling ragu. waktu itu, si perempuan mungil berbicara dengan ngotot. mungkin dia pikir aku bodoh. atau tuli. tidak mengerti bahwa ia ingin punya proyek. di sini. bahwa departemennya punya uang. (padahal tidak banyak juga. sedikit sekali malah). aku sudah tahu itu. yang aku mau tahu adalah seperti apa proyeknya. jambankah. sumurkah. pipakah. dengan kontraktorkah. kuli masyarakatkah. apa? beritahu aku. aku lidahmu di sana. lidah, badan dan nyawamu. jika mereka melempar batu. atau membarikade jalan. atau meludah. bukan kau yang akan mengaduh. bukan kau yang rugi jika sesamaku membenci. maka, aku perlu tahu.

 

sahabatku bilang, tidak baik merasa paling pintar atau tidak ada yang baik di dunia ini. maka aku pun menghela nafas panjang. sepanjang egoku yang tidak ingin dibendung, namun harus. lalu, pelan-pelan kami mengikuti kemauan mereka berdua. lady harry and young loyd. jika mereka yang tanpa rencana saja yakin. kenapa kami para tukang kecap paranoid ini tidak? 'though we are wondering why they are the diplomats not us, we are good at flowery words and we always have plans. still, we hope god is making things easier for us. and in some ways prove that our paranoia is reasonable.

 

dan sekarang kami ada di pintu gerbang proyek itu. lapisan pertama. sementara waktu semakin larut. sesuai perkiraan, banyak yang harus dilalui. prosedur. instansi. komunitas. jalan jelek. barang-barang berharga terlalu mahal. kerumunan yang marah. kerumunan pemabuk. muda-mudi berpendidikan tanpa dedikasi. mereka lupa. negara ini berdaulat. sekaligus berlimpah masalah. kami punya mekanisme. itulah, mengapa aku perlu tahu.

 

as paranoia as i am. i am not a quitter. terutama jika menyangkut komitmen membangun bangsa. jadi, jika hari senin nanti di rapat rutin kalian ingin menggilasku for what i have to say. silakan. you started the mess, now you have to eat the shit. worry not, i will help you eating it. just like i always did.

gerutu (10)

hey, lady.

i may come from a third world country. but i know what legume means. karen walker told me.

for your kind information. it is a vegetable. but common people understand it better as 'beans'.

and although vegetable soup in french is translated as soupe aux légume,

rafael told me it was peas cream soup. or in my words sup krim kacang polong.

note to self (12) ditambah gerutu (8)

even though the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page, reading the whole book doesn't necessarily make one understand the content of the book. don't just travel the whole world, try to understand the way of the world is as or maybe even more important.

when am not out abusing people

i make these. for cupcakes toppings.

 

although all of them look anything but. the left one is a monkey. who doesn’t resemble even a defected one. the middle one is a giraffe. who looks like a long neck cow with a chicken pox. and the right one is a lion. who somehow looks like winnie the pooh wearing a sun costume. oh, well. practice makes perfect.

gerutu (6)

thank god for sate rs pertamina. and donut in seven eleven bulungan. then all fresh in simatupang. god bless food and fruits. because surely god should never bless them people who hate their own kind. god knows for what reasons.

 

i truly am sorry if my parents forced me to have a good education and theirs did not. thus, if i earn more than they did at my age, blame the friggin tsunami. we are only here to ease the pain of couple of billions people of this country who –unlike you– had to, for example, walk three days and three nights or even a whole week, just to get their eyes examined. they care shit if you are a dear friend of the ex zero two. or even the present zero one.

 

now, what is your explanation to let those of the same skins eat not from the same buffet. haven’t you got anything from all of this shit? have you never read the seven fundamental principles? do you not know that the core principles are the exact opposite things that you are imposing at the moment? i bet you don’t even want to hold hands with old people who wipe their snots with their cut fingers.

 

so, look, my veins are popping every time i dare to think about what you guys did. i'm trying to not raise my blood-pressure just over work shits. and i understand that you're just trying to kiss ass and make the ex-zero two happy. but if you don’t even get sarcasm. or if you dare to ask 'lagi bawa siapa di sini' again. i would still smile nicely to you. for the sake of my friends. whom you didn’t let to join the cocktail party and you told to eat from nasi kotak. because above all, i still love my own people, and i would take bullets for them.

 

just remember that money and power only buy you ass kisser that will someday kick you in the nuts.

his words (2)

why do you disgust by that woman so much, anyway?

 

well.. she doesn’t… *long pause* 'inspire' me..

 

ha ha.. well, she's not mother theresa, man..

 

as well.. she's a bit of a grouch.. met her in cambodia.. mother theresa..

 

well, what do you expect? the woman married god.

 

 

this morning. while he's at my booth looking for 'something' to go with his tea.

his words (1)

my mom lives in the days where she smoked 30 cigarettes per day, never exercised, and she will be 83 next week.

 

quoted this morning when asked 'how come you still have a mother?'