a blast from the past

How dare you came to me last night
When all you give is nothing but fright
I don’t want to see you ever
Since I have grown much much cleverer
So, here’s the thing I want you to grasp
Get the hell out or I’ll kick your sorry ass!

I
had a nightmare of the person I entirely want to erase from my life. I
don’t even know why on earth did that person pop up last night. That
person didn’t even bother to be nice in my dream (if that
person had been nice, it wouldn’t be a nightmare, now, would it?). They
say a dream is a manifestation of one’s deepest desire, but I have no
desire to reminisce this one. I never want to see this person. I never
want to hear about this person. I never want to talk with this person.
I never want to have anything to do with this person. Never again.

However,
if it is so, why does the voice in my head keep saying, if I really
despise this person so much and want this person out of my life, why am
I scribbling this and then publish it world wide just because one silly
dream after not having any for six years?

whatelse

ketika aku sadar bahwa aku adalah salah satu dari yang mendapat vagina,
aku ingin sekali tertawa-tawa bahagia dan mengulum senyum senang.
namun, bahagia dan senang itu sedikit demi sedikit terkikis dengan serangkaian fakta.
ada
yang berhidung mancung, berbulu mata lentik, berbibir penuh gincu,
berkulit lembut kuning langsat, berambut lurus hitam dan panjang
tergerai, berpinggang gitar serta berlemak jarang, berkutang renda,
ber-rok mini seksi yang didecak kagum, ditahbis cantik, yang bernama
perempuan.
tetapi tetap merasa kurang.
sebab masih ada menunggu,
memasak, mencuci, bertelur, bermenstruasi, berpria, mengistri,
berzigot, berembrio, berjanin, berbayi, menyusui, mengibu, menenek,
membuyut, menjahit, menyulam, merajut dan lagi dan lagi dan lagi dan
lagi dan lagi dan lagi
lalu aku berkaca, tak satupun aku adalah itu semua.
ternyata vagina saja tak cukup.