end

before we part ways and bid goodbye to each other,

let me sing you the cure's i'll stop the world and melt with you.

but i guess whatever that was,

it is now over.

paradox

he always misses her no matter what she did. it is either love, naivety, or plain stupidity. and she, despite her longing for something better, has since been attached to him as well as could no longer bear the thought of pain he would have to endure if she left him. it is either love, charity, or empathy.

she would never dare to dream that what they have is forever, but he seemed very confident that they are meant for each other in all eternity.

none of them knows for sure what the future holds for both of them, but they have decided to be for each other at least until fate decides otherwise.

semur ayam santen teriyaki

Description:
super gampang. cocok untuk berbuka maupun sahur. bisa dimasak menjelang berbuka dan dipanaskan untuk sahur.

Ingredients:
bahan:
dada ayam dari satu ekor ayam, potong dadu
setengah potong tahu cina usuran 5x15cm, potong dadu
2 buah sayap ayam
2 buah ceker ayam
1 buah tomat, potong bitesize

bumbu
4 siung bawang putih, cincang lembut
1 siung bawang Bombay, rajang halus
2 sendok makan kecap manis
2 sendok makan saos teriyaki
1 sachet santan instan
1 sendok makan minyak goreng untuk menumis

Directions:
panaskan wajan, tuangi minyak goreng, tumis bawang putih dan bawang bombay dengan api kecil hingga layu.

masukkan potongan ayam dan tahu cina, tumis hingga setengah matang. tuangkan kecap manis dan saos teriyaki, tumis hingga kecap dan saos tercampur rata.

tambahkan santan instan, aduk hingga santan tercampur. jika perlu, tambahkan air. didihkan. masukkan potongan tomat.

aduk sesekali hingga semua bahan matang dan tercampur rata. sajikan.

untuk mengimbangi rasa semur yang manis, bisa disajikan dengan salad sayur dengan saus yang asam (kombinasi minyak zaitun dengan perasan lemon dgn sedikit garam-merica atau kombinasi minyak zaitun dengan balsamic vinegar).

squished

jakarta has taken its toll on me.
this time, i am desperately longing to leave.
9 millions people in 740 square kilometre
is definitely a crowd.
am not sure i can take walking from dharmawangsa to blok a or further every evening.
even when i don't really do anything at work.
but, i guess my fate and fortune is not going to change.
at least not anytime soon.

monoluck

oh, god.
please don't say
i don't pursue
my own happiness.
litterally every year,
i spent at least
three times
of my worn out
impatience
to chase
a some kind of happy.
including this year.
i suck it up,
swallow my pride,
ignore the blackhole
of my hollow heart,
and just keep moving.

how else should i
keep moving?

his words (3)

be happy for what you have;
but,
fight for what you don't have.

allah will make a way, where there seems no way.

damned

i have ruined my shot at a chance of better life just because i do not have a good time management and can only speak one foreign language.

i want to explore other options

tapi, bagaimana seseorang tahu bahwa ia tidak sedang menyia-nyiakan hal terbaik yang disediakan tuhan untuknya. jika 'other options' itu tidak setepat dan sebaik semua yang dimilikinya sekarang. but then again, apakah 'hal yang tepat' itu? dan apakah 'hal yang baik' itu? bukankah semuanya hanya perlu penyesuaian saja. nanti juga semua akan menjadi tepat dan baik. and eventually; nyaman.

dan sebenarnya, 'other options' itu apa? tawaran pekerjaan di perusahaan oil and gas yang paling terkenal? tawaran menikah dari a complete stranger? kesempatan tes untuk sebuah posisi yang gajinya lebih tinggi dan masalahnya lebih menantang, tetapi tergagalkan karena one does not master the required language of the company?

entahlah. yang jelas, berada di situasi yang sama hampir selama dua ribu hari, pasti akan menimbulkan kebuntuan.

i am just an inch away of becoming a zombie.

tied

somehow i wonder
if god had locked my fate
upon this job
and that i have to bear
its every inch
of bittersweet consequence
until death parts us.

musim layangan

baru membumbung sebentar, benangku sudah tergilas benang yang lain.

benang gelasan kadang bisa mematikan langkah.

mungkin memang lebih baik diam di rumah.

rambut tidak memerah. kulit pun tetap memucat.

kalah itu perlu. tetapi mungkin cukup sekali waktu. jangan selalu.

tak baik juga hati melulu tertimbun nyeri.

biarlah kurang pergaulan, yang penting jarang menangis.

kendala

ingin minum susu coklat. tapi, kampung tengah su penuh ini.

alasan

ingin mulai. tapi, 3 voucher internet gratis sudah terpakai semua.