pricks like a thorn #3

he told her that he does not want to serve in afghanistan. but, the economy was that bad that choosing college over the deployment would probably burdened his parents more. besides, his two or four other friends went too. he was only either eight or nineteen when he enrolled. he thought it would probably be cool, with the guns and high utility vehicles he had only seen on playstation. he did not really think about stress. or mental breakdown. he had never been in touch with weeds before. the deployment had made him 420 friendly, whenever he went home for holiday. or when he was there. he could not explain it to her what or how depressing being there was. there were hardly any women who would come near them. at least not emotionally. either they were scarred of them being a soldier that could die anytime. or those women were afraid that they would carry incurable monsters home. both are the things even he could not dare to swear upon his mother's life that he wouldn't do. he thought he is still the same guy who loves rock and hardcore music. he still longed to ride his skateboard to vent. but, who could guarantee that he will not flip someday when hearing a gun-shot like sound? or if he would have nightmares about a raid by the talebans even if until now he never had to face things as such. and he saw many of his friends were divorced while they were there. some have small children when it happened. getting drunk was maybe the safest option to get through all the pain, although not really the smartest. being high is never the best way to win one's heart, moreover after being away for a long period of time. he knew that. yet, it does not stop him from smoking pot.

he paused and felt discomfort when she told him about the rampage shooting by an american soldier towards civillians she read on the news. he did not really want to defend that guy for what he did is wrong. still, he fully understood the kind of stress that man may have undergone. all he could say to her was; he hoped god protect him all the way.

he wished his bluntness do not scare her. but it has been a week since the last time she contacted him.