yoohoo!

i’m sick of the mouse scroll button. the joy of browsing on the
internet doesn’t rush my adrenaline anymore. i just don’t feel like
clicking the mouse left button. opening e-mail is no longer fun.
viewing profiles on friendster or posting blogs bored me. i don’t even
want to let my fingers caressing the keyboard.

what i feel like
doing is to lay on your chest. feeling it go up and down in a constant
pace. listening to your heartbeat. inhaling the scent of cool water for
men. putting my arms around your waist. and letting my tears go down my
cheeks and soak your over an age polo shirt. while your chin is placed
on top of my head. your left hand harassing my hair and your right hand
squeezing my left arm. just that without any vocal chords interrupting.
without you even gasping an ‘hmmm...’

this time i want you to
listen to me. i want you to hear me sniff. i want you to feel my grief.
i don’t want you the way you were when i did it while you’re driving. i
don’t want you giving me the
she-needs-her-space-now-and-i’m-just-gonna-let-her-cool-off-beside-i-have-to-pay-attention-on-the-road
scheme. i need you not to ignore me.

i don’t even know why i
put up with you afterall these times. while in fact you’ve been nothing
but thinking about yourself. you know i will always spare an ear, a
mind and a heart for you anytime. i long for the day when you would
really listen to all the things i went through. you don’t have to
comment just listen carefully with your ears, and your mind and your
heart. when you say i don’t understand you, try to understand me.

i’m
sick of the things going on and off of my life. the least thing i could
use is that you got sick of your life, especially of the one concerning
me.